


Not A Love Story

by Tyger



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-14
Updated: 2006-09-14
Packaged: 2017-10-16 22:45:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/170201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyger/pseuds/Tyger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doumeki knows this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Love Story

**Author's Note:**

> Written (and therefore set) relatively early in canon.

Life is not like a love story.  
At all.  
Doumeki knows this.  
Doumeki knows this very well, as he watches Watanuki.  
Doumeki... loves Watanuki.  
He thinks.  
No. He knows he loves him. He just isn’t sure how.  
He will do anything for him. Anything in his power, and anything just-far-enough-away that he isn’t able to do it, but does anyway. Anything at all.  
For him.  
For his sake.  
Anything.  
And if he smiles, then that’s even better.  
Doumeki knows that he loves Watanuki. That he would do anything for him. But.  
Does he love him like he loves the-wind-in-the-trees, like he loves the sky, like he loves cherry-blossoms-falling-on-the-pond?  
Perhaps.  
Does he love him like he loves his family? There, there, always there, always there and all-consuming but. Not. Like that. Not.  
Perhaps.  
Does he love him as his parents love each other, as Watanuki wishes Kunogi would love him?  
Perhaps.  
But he does not know.  
And this, Doumeki knows, is life.  
He does not know how he loves him, or why he loves him, but only that he does, and that, as he loves him, he will do anything, anything at all for him.  
Anything.  
Because that is what love is.  
And so.  
He stands by his side, and things happen. Things he also does not understand, things that he can’t see, and he does what he can. For Watanuki. For himself, too, and Kunogi, and Yuuko, and everyone else he knows. But, mostly, for Watanuki, because he knows that Watanuki needs it more than anyone he’s ever met.  
And.  
Watanuki is not grateful. Watanuki yells at him, for doing what he can. He yells and berates and feels so, so guilty. And sometimes, he says nothing at all, and Doumeki learns what it is to be afraid that someone will hate you, truely hate you, for the rest of your life.  
Doumeki is terrified whenever Watanuki stops talking, stops ranting, stops running around like an idiot, because that’s when he’s hurt.  
By Doumeki.  
And Watanuki ignores him, acts as if he isn’t even a bug under his foot.  
But he makes him lunch anyway.  
And Doumeki does not understand why he does what he does. He really has no clue. But he watches, and, in time, learns.  
And sometimes, Yuuko helps.  
And sometimes, Yuuko makes things worse.  
But, somehow, they’ve got closer.  
Somehow.  
And this, Doumeki knows, is life.  
Because even though it has love in it, it is not a love story.  
But if it was, he’d line up at the bookstore before it opened, so he could get the next volume as soon as he possibly could.


End file.
